A wedding!

 Subject line: All things Wedding <3

So excited for you both! There is a lot in here, but hopefully it's helpful. Feel free to call/text if you have more questions, seriously happy to help. 

STEP 1: sit down (separately) and list your priorities (DJ, Flowers, Food, Drinks, Photographer etc), and then come together and review. Having you both aligned on what's important made everything easier!

[The email continues with lots of recommendations for vendors and other wedding-related advice.]

_____

Hi! 

I am so excited for the wedding! Thanks for these resources. It's also great that you are cool with the wedding being for a throuple. Most people wouldn't be ok with it, but the three us are so excited to join in a committed union together.

I really want a milkshake bar at the reception. What do you think? I'm also planning to go down the aisle while riding an elephant. Think we can make that happen?

This will be the best wedding ever!

Josh

P.S.--ok, so I'm guessing I'm not the Josh Douglas you are trying to reach. I'm a lawyer in Kentucky. But maybe I can come to the wedding anyway? Hope you find the right one--he has a great name and I'm excited he's getting married! :) 

_____

HA! Thanks for your reply, made me do a double take!

Tacos for lunch

 Hello Joshua,

I pray all is going well with you and your family. Checking in to see if you would check with your aunt to see if she will be available to speak at my church again this year. The date of the event is June 13th. 

____

Hi, 

I have lots of aunts. One lives in Florida. Another is in Massachusetts. Still another reads tons of books while in Arizona. And another runs a charity. Which one would you like?

And will you have tacos available at this event? I love tacos.

Thanks,

Josh

P.S.--I think you reached the wrong Josh Douglas. I hope the other Josh's aunt can do it!

____

I was speaking of the aunt that came with you last year...[redacted].

___

I'm sure it was a great talk. But it wasn't me or my aunt. Check your email address again.

I hope you have tacos for lunch!

____

Thank you for letting me know! You've given me a great idea with the tacos for lunch!

I really want an apartment with a milkshake machine

 Hi Josh,

Here are the info sheets for Units [redacted], both of which are listed. It states the maintenance fee is $594 and I've inquired about what all that covers.

Let me know if you have any questions or if yourself and your parents want to take a peek this weekend. 

___

Hi,

This is great! But I'm only renting them if they come with an automatic milkshake machine, a taco bar, and a cooler full of beer. Do we have a deal?

___

Damnit!! Hahaha, I did it again!!! 

My rate is $1,000,000/day

Hi Joshua,

[Details about a potential job doing video editing.]

 

Look forward to hearing from you and we can chat it all through tomorrow if suitable for you.

 

____

Hi [Redacted],

Thanks for your email

My rate is $1,000,000/day. Hope that's ok.

Also, will you have tacos at all meetings? That's a requirement for me.

Josh

P.S.--as you can probably tell, you reached the wrong Josh Douglas. Hi from Kentucky, across the pound! It sounds like you want a British Josh Douglas. I sometimes receive his food orders, too. He's probably a good guy and I hope he takes this gig!

I guess I'll play mini golf

FYI [email forwarded to me about a golf course being closed].

___

Oh no! The golf course will be closed. No golf for me! What are we doing to do? I guess go play mini golf? 

I think I'll go eat a taco to make myself feel better. 

Josh

P.S.--I think you reached the wrong Josh Douglas. :) 

___

Woah

Hi Joshua, 

Hope you are well.

 

I am responding to your post on Facebook [about a job]. I’d love to know a bit more about the role?

 

I am currently [describes work.] I have many transferable skills as you can see from my CV.

 

Would love to chat more,

 

Hope to hear from you.

____

Hi,

Thanks for your email.

Your resume looks great. But it doesn't say if you have experience developing or producing tacos. Do you like tacos? What are your favorite kinds? This job would require lots of taco developing, producing--and eating! I love tacos! 

Alas, you've reached Josh Douglas, but not the right one. I'm in Kentucky! But I like tacos, not KFC. 

Hope you find the other Josh Douglas.

Glasses help me see tacos

Attached is a breakdown of your glasses cost. In quote #1 that has your glasses being filled on insurance, the prices in the right column are before insurance and the prices in the left column are your after insurance prices. 

In quote #2 is your 50% off 2nd pair. If you have any questions just let me know! if you decide to proceed with the glasses you can come in to pay or you can just call and pay over the phone. Have a great day!

___

Yay! New glasses! How exciting. Will they help me see my tacos better? I'm a lawyer, so I read a lot. Having new glasses will surely help me. 

How tasty are the earpieces? I tend to chew on my earpieces a lot. Can I have them custom made to taste like chocolate?

(Alas, though I do wear glasses, I'm not the guy with the great name who came to your store. You might want to check the email address you have).