Tacos for lunch

Dear Mr Douglas

 

Attached please find your contract [for a high school].

____

Dear [Redacted],

Can we please add to the contract that the school will provide me with a taco for lunch each day? That will really make me ready to sign!

Thanks,

Josh

P.S.—I think you have the wrong Josh Douglas. I hope you can find the right one and that he signs the contract!

Bringing my pet parakeet to work

Hi Joshua, I was wondering if you are still interested in the assistant manager position. If so I would like to meet with you.

____

Hi,

Yes! I'm extremely interested in this position.

But before we move forward, perhaps you should consider some of my demands if I land the job:

-A dedicated parking spot

-An employee who greets me with a song or joke as I exit my car each day.

-An addition of tacos to the menu

-The ability to bring my pet parakeet into work. Don't worry, he's friendly and won't bother the customers or the staff. But he CANNOT be in his cage for more than 5 minutes at a time.

If these items all sound good, let me know and we can set up that interview!

Josh

P.S.--I think you have the wrong Josh Douglas. I'm in Kentucky. The commute itself would probably be too long! :) But I hope the real Josh Douglas receives a job offer!

I'm a composer!

Here was a fun one:

Hi Joshua, 

We met just briefly after one of the [redacted] industry talks and I just wanted to say it was great chatting with you. I wondered: is there a spot I could check out more of your work somewhere online?

I hope your current projects continue to open more doors. I'd love to keep in touch and please consider me a resource if you have any questions about music and film.

I can't remember where you said you're based, but if you're ever in [redacted], give a shout and we should grab a coffee.

Best,

[Redacted]

___

Hi [Redacted],

Thanks for your email. We must have had a great conversation. Was I engaging? Did I tell stories? Jokes? I hope so! Did we talk about my love of tacos?

I love music and even played guitar at an open mic at a local coffee shop a few months ago. That was fun. I want to do it again. It sounds like you're in the UK? I played a song by Passenger, a British artist who is one of my favorites! (I also really like Counting Crows. They are touring in Europe right now!)

In high school and college I played trombone, and was even in a Latin band in college called Los Gringos. That was so much fun! I haven't done much composing, though I wrote a heartfelt song about a girl when I was in high school called "The Seasons of My Life." It's probably terrible, though.

Anyway, I'd love to learn more about your work. Maybe I should become a composer--at least if my current gig as a law professor doesn't work out. (Since you asked, you can learn more about my work here.) 

Alas, I don't think I'm the Joshua Douglas you met. He sounds (haha: sounds--music--composing) like a really cool guy! I wonder what kind of music he writes. You're really kind to reach out to him to offer your assistance. I hope you can find the composer Josh Douglas!

Josh

Does the apartment have a milkshake bar?

Good Afternoon,

I have a prospective tenant who is one of your current tenants at [address]. [Prospective tenant] has applied for one of our rental properties.

 

Attached is their signed application for release of information. Please provide the following information on them within 24 hours and thank you in advance for your assistance!

 

RENTAL VERIFICATION INFORMATION:

 

[List of questions]

 

____

Hi,

Oh, [name of prospective tenant]. What a great guy. Or a terrible guy. Or a so-so guy. Does he like tacos? He better like tacos or you shouldn't rent to him!

What kind of apartment is this? Does it come with a milkshake bar?

Alas, I'm not a landlord. Or know [prospective tenant]. Or have any idea what you're talking about. I'm in Kentucky. But the person you are trying to reach has a great name!

Josh (but probably not the Josh you want)

_____

Ooops! Sorry.  Is everyone from Kentucky so nice, with a great sense of humor?

_____

It must be the bourbon.

But you're not the first person to make this mistake: https://wrongjoshdouglas.blogspot.com/